Oh the endorphins!

*goofy grin*

I cannot remember the last time I was this full and the world seemed a lot more manageable. K, actually I do, and it was way way back in the KL days when eating out for dinner (as in a real dinner) meant you had to come home with unbuckled jeans.

I'm surprised how relaxed I feel. It's a bloody good change from the way things have been going the past few. At one point it felt like I was walking a mental tight rope precariously balancing myself trying hard not to fall over like the Tic Tacs in Coop.

I thought about it again and I've prolly realised it before but this time it sunk in with a great big resounding, 'Oh shit' in my head. Pffft. I need people. Not just a want, not just a have it so I deal it's more like a need. Like a don't have it, then emo thoughts have more time to effuse themselves throughout my mind then get depressed. I guess I need it more like a distraction from the evil beings in my head telling me life's not worth the trouble, go hang yourself.

Thenagain, just how much of all of this is just me trying to justify, trying to reduce dissonance, trying to convince myself I'm a strong person who can deal all by herself?

And when did all of this start?!!