Once upon a time, there was a secret door.

Nobody knew about it.

Because it was secret.

They would wonder about what lay beyond the secret door but they didn't because they didn't know about it.

Then one day, someone found out about the door. But that person didn't know it was a secret door.

So he told his friends, "Yoohoo~~!! Lookie here what I've found!! A door!!" But his friends weren't interested because to them, it was just a regular garden variety old door. They didn't know it was secret.

So they all went home to eat macaroni and cheese and to watch KUNG FU HUSTLE for the 6th time because they loved it so much. (Obviously Cherie isn't one of the friends)

Sheesh.

So the Guy Who Discovered The Door also went home to eat macaroni and cheese and watch KUNG FU HUSTLE for the 6th time because he loved it soo much although it was different this time because he had minced beef in his macaroni and cheese.

And that separated him from the other boys who ate plain macaroni and cheese and watched KUNG FU HUSTLE for the 6th time because they loved it so much. Some people think he had minced beef in his macaroni and cheese because he had discovered the door (which was secret but he had not found out about that yet). Others just think he had minced beef in his macaroni and cheese because he added the minced beef into his macaroni and cheese.

I digress.

The door was still a secret. This makes the door a secret door that even the boys who went home to eat mac... didn't know it was a secret.

The Guy Who Discovered The Door didn't discover the secrets of the door nor that the door was in fact a secret door which noone knew about except for him but he didn't know it was a secret then.

So then one day, the Guy Who Discovered The Door Who's Name Happened To Be Johnny walked past the door he discovered and exclaimed to himself, "My! I don't even know what lies beyond this door!! Oooo! That must make it... A Secret Door!!"

He beamed to himself and went home to tell his mother about it. But his mother just pooh-poohed him off and sent him to bed.

He woke up the next day thinking he absolutely HAD to do something about The Secret Door. So he gathered some paint, a toothbrush and a spare pillowcase and went to The Secret Door. He painted the words,

"HEED ALL YE WHO PASS BY!
THIS BE A SECRET DOOR!!"

onto the door with the toothbrush and filled the spare pillowcase with stolen marbles and bits of blue cheese he found on the steps of the grocers'.

He went home that day feeling satisfied. He knew now that everybody who passed by would soon know that the door which he had discovered was in fact SECRET!

The next day, all his friends admired him for his brilliance, yadda yadda yaddaaa..

THE END