The danged creature didn't bother entering silently. Banging his robust body against the wall many times and zooming past me with obnoxious speeds, he clearly wanted his presence to be known. And he clearly didn't want his presence to go ignored. He thought he could strike fear in his opponent (me) if he flew around me erratically. But I was on to him. I knew that fear would crush me and topple me so I stood up courageously, took a broom and sought the fiend out!
At first, I wasn't sure what I was dealing with. All I saw was a black blob zooming lightning fast across the ceiling. All I heard was the clean tapping of his crusty body against the walls. Sounded like pellets or plastic bullets being shot through the room. The nasty tricks he played on my mind. Tonight would be his last and I was about to make sure of that.
I followed the sounds into the bathroom. As soon as he heard the bathroom door opening, he with all the might he had, zig-zagged his way past me. Prolly trying to hit me solid in the face but he wasn't skillful enough. The cheek he had. With my broom on the ready, I chased him around, flailing my weapon through the air he flew through, hoping I might strike him down! But no, his relative size made him too agile for me. He was just faster and I couldn't keep up. But I definitely knew I wasn't about to let this stand in my way! He wasn't going to bring me down!
I kept up with the acts, swung my broom like I never swung it before. He kept up with his games trying to psycho me. He wanted to dance. I danced. And it wore him out the lil bugga. Too swift for his own good and none too smart. All the skill but not enough brain. He got tired. I was just warming up, just getting the groove started. This was getting too easy.
He resorted to hiding. Things got quiet. Maybe he wanted me to think he wasn't so much of a threat anymore so I'd go about my studying and then he could ambush me in the midst of it all. Element of surprise kind of thing. Sorry, no can do. He wasn't gonna be let off that easily. Not while I'm still around. I thought of all the other deathly epidemics he might have helped cause. I thought of the sons and daughters he breeded to help him in his dishonourable plans. I thought of all the helpless children in Africa.
And I presevered.
It kept me going. I knew I couldn't let the world down. I mustered up all my strength and courage for the last showdown. I wasn't ready to let him win. Cunning lil bastard. Up with his foolery when he knows he can't win. He knew he was going down. He could smell it. I could taste it. He wanted to slow things down thinking he had the game in his hands and hid out inconspicously on the curtains. Licked his wounds for a bit, cleaned the sweat on his face, cleared his thoughts for awhile. Gathered his energy for the last showdown. But I couldn't let him finish.
I charged. Roared my battle cry and emptied my rage into my swinging weapon. Channeled all the fury into that one last fatal blow that would finally end Gargantua's fiendish reign of terror that struck immeasurable fear into the hearts of the many scared residents of Bt Jalil and Sri Petaling. But alas! My calculations were wrong! I was too blinded by anger and the thought of victory that I didn't consider that maybe the broom wasn't the correct weapon to be used against a fiend as large as this.
The basket laughed at me. I almost swore I heard him pissing his pants with laughter. He knew that blow wouldn't end him and he waited for it. Biding his time. All the while sniggering at my ignorance and then my shame. I wanted to retreat into a corner and sink into the ground below with embarrassment. I counted my chickens before they hatched. The fly was screaming 'PADAN MUKA' into my face and I let it. He knew that I knew how disastrous this one mistake was to my morale. It broke me. He knew I was broken. He just didn't know there was another human being in this house with just about as much hatred for him and she wasn't going to make the mistakes that I made.
I knew this and he didn't. I took the game into my own hands. It was mine and now I was sure of it. I baited him. Held the broom in his sight because as long as he thought this was my primary weapon, he thought he was safe. Tossed crumpled newspaper to lead him out. He wasn't zooming about anymore. His stamina was a joke! Fat ass. I laughed at him silently. Couldn't believe he was falling for my tricks. Buthenagain, I was being careful this time having double-calculated my calculations.
As soon as I got him on the spot where I wanted him at, I called out for Joyce's help. Promised her bounty money of 50cents if she could kill him for me. I handed her Physiology module notes. She shrugged and agreed. Walked nonchalantly towards the enemy on the wall and WHAM!!! He was a goner.
I love my housemate.
She left the cleaning up to me but I was alright with that. Victory was ours and that was all that mattered.
Mr Gargantua not looking too happy on the wall.
Stained module notes.
Upon close inspection of the weapon used, I spotted what looked like EGGS along the with smeared blood-like goo. Lil bastard was a bitch after all!! A pregnant one!! Ready to sow her deathly seeds into me trash and hope her young 'uns would carry on her legacy just as she did her ma. Vicious lil creatures. Doomed for hell! All of 'em!
I took extra care to get rid of the carcass carefully trying not to smear any of the goo on myself or my belongings. Don't want Episode 2 of this whole chaotic scene happening again seeing that there were eggs involved and all. Even cut out the part of my notes that had smeared goo stains on them. Ahhh... battle scars.
And an end to this dramatic night,
And let's all hope it stays at that.
Oh, wait, I think I hear something calling me, oh, hey, it's Bioscience! Toodles!
2 comments:
ewww. good one naz. u did the whole world a huge favour.
AlvIn WuZ HeRe...........
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