Hello.

Hello, my name is Naz. I take people for granted and shy away from proximity.

I suppress bad thoughts preferring to deal with them some other time.

Seeing as procrastination is my middle name, those thoughts will never get dealt with.

Random fact: Sometimes, a sudden feeling of extreme loneliness engulfs me. Like swimming at high tide and in the very few seconds the salty sea water embraces you and pulls you into its depths. Those last just a few seconds tho. Like someone slapping you with a reality you'd been suppressing all this while, I start believing that there's noone there for me. That the dependability of everyone I thought I could count on is really all made up.

That when I die, it will be alone. Everybody dies alone, no matter if you're family or close friends, loved ones and standing by your deathbed holding your hand. You still have to pass on all by yourself. Noone is gonna follow you into the dark like a companion following you to the store nearby. No.

What accompanies this 'epiphany' is a lot fear. I get really scared. Palms sweating, panic arising, what-should-I-do syndrome,

'I dont wanna die alone!'

'Dear God, pls help me and everyone else around me.'

Tears. Increased heart rate. Palpitations. Breathlessness.

A full awareness that you're going to die and you don't know when, you don't know how soon, you don't know how. But you just don't wanna do it alone, dammit!

I dunno. DD2 module notes tells me that's a lil like panic disorders.

Yikes schmikes!