Thy own worst enemy.

I have figured out what my worst enemy is:

My own overactive imagination.

Yea shucks. It was around 2am last night when I just came back from a hugely entertaining gossip session at Van's with Cherie (yea, we get bored here a lot). So, while Cherie left the B Tower lift first, in came my overactive imagination. On cue. Suddenly I get super paranoid that there are axe-wielding men waiting on my floor. Waiting behind one of the doors to the staircase or inside the Bilik Pembuangan Sampah, ready to spring out at me and demand money or something else from me.

If the bloody axe-wielding men don't manage to scare me, I think back on the time Shu Ning and I watched Ju-On together and I start recalling scenes on purpose or whatever, I don't know why I keep doing that!

The favourites are the little boy, all spooky-eyed and pale standing at the corner of my room looking at me like he knows something I don't or like there's the young woman standing over me looking down at me with wide accusing eyes. Shit scary. Or when I'm brushing my teeth at the toilet sink, I imagine some weird ghost standing behind me in the room looking at me. I can never wash my face with my eyes closed now. I get too scared. Even at the moments I'm not actively thinking about ghosts, the very act of splashing water on my face will trigger the image of a ghost standing behind me and I'll freak and look behind me in haste. God, I hate this.

Another one is the kitchen. It's bloody super dark during the nighttime and theres a window on the wall directly opposite the kitchen entrance. I always think there might be a little girl in white nightclothes, head down, long straight hair half covering her face, hands by her side, revealing white eyes looking up at me as soon as I switch the lights on. Or when I switch the lights on, there might be another something or another behind me which I can see from the reflection in the window. Oh freaking creep me out. I'm prolly the only person I know who does this to herself when there's no reason to.

Then there are the tales of people whom people I know know who can see ghosts. It just makes it worse. Now I know that ghosts can very well be standing in my room at night and watching me. Well, as long as they leave me alone, I'm fine with it. But just the thought of it freaks me out, sends shivers down my spine, makes me feel cold from the marrow. Makes me feel like hiding under the blankets.

I can't even sleep without the lights. Ever since Ju-On that is. I used to be unable to sleep with the lights on. Even light shining in through from outside the window made me toss and turn for a few hours before I have to cover a blanket over the windows.

Geez. I hate this. I want my normal carefree, ignorant about the supernatural life back!!

Ahah. And thanks to some S'porean horror movie we went to watch for Su Yi's birthday, I don't really dare open an umbrella indoors, don't really dare comb my hair in front of the mirror at midnight and get scared of bending down and looking through my legs to the other side.

Bah. Some of you must be laughing at me right now. But this fear... it's real, see.

Meh. Now Ning wants me to watch The Maid with Jessy since she already watched it and said it freaked her out till she couldn't sleep alone at night. Meh. Meh meh meh!!

Oh well. Maybe someday soon, I'll be in full control of my imagination and this will all stop. Hahah. K.